Simple Strategies to Overcome Self-Doubt When Impostor Syndrome Strikes

Simple Strategies to Overcome Self-Doubt When Impostor Syndrome Strikes

“To love your life as it is and love yourself as you are……”

The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves are powerful. When impostor syndrome strikes, our inner monologue may sound like: “I’ve only gotten to this point because of luck,” or, “Wait until someone finds out I have no idea what I’m doing!” This self-talk affects our self-esteem, but it also impacts how we present ourselves to others and the risks we take in our lives. Simply put, if we don’t actively work on silencing our inner critic and reframing these thoughts and beliefs, our impostor syndrome can hold us back from unlocking our full potential and living a truly fulfilled life.

What is imposter syndrome really?

It’s that nagging feeling that you don’t belong, and it affects women and minority groups disproportionately. Here’s how to combat it.

Impostor syndrome often plays out during public speeches, job negotiations or when receiving promotions or receiving accolades. It can also show up when we want to try something new— you can often hear people asking things like, “But why would anyone pay money to do this” or “Someone else deserves this a lot more than I do,” or “ Who do I think I am, I shouldn’t be doing this, what would people think of me.”

The term “impostor syndrome” wasn’t coined until 1978 (by two American psychologists, Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes), but it’s safe to assume that women have always felt it. It’s that nagging feeling that you’re not good enough, that you don’t belong, that you don’t deserve the job, the promotion, the book deal, the seat at the table. According to Valerie Young, an educator and the author of “The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women,” it is common among high achievers, creative people and students. It persists through college and graduate school and into the working world, where women tend to judge their performance as worse than they objectively are while men judge their own as better. It tends to affect minority groups disproportionately, Ms. Young said — anyone who has the pressure of accomplishing “firsts.”

But there are ways to overcome feeling like an impostor — beginning by recognizing that it’s just a feeling.

We asked our Art of People community to share their tips on dealing with negative self-talk and overcoming impostor syndrome. And you answered. Here are some of the awesome strategies that were shared on IG and FB and in private with me from real people like you and me.

I want to thank each and every one of you for your contribution. I will continue to share them as we go through this year, as there are too many to share in one go. Please read them and let us know which strategy will you try?

Turn inward for validation

It isn’t until we start questioning where our impostor syndrome comes from that we can begin to let it go. Once we recognize impostor syndrome isn’t something we are born with — it is something that is taught to most of us. We get taught to seek approval and look for validation everywhere, from our families, then our teachers, and then our bosses. Often times we doubt ourselves until we find other people to tell us we are worthy and capable. But once we realize this is what is happening, we can decide that we won’t continue this need for validation from others. We can start teaching ourselves what we are valuable and worthy. This shift in mindset and consistent practice of self-worth will dramatically reduce any limiting beliefs in our head because we make time to explore and overcome them instead of waiting for external influence.

Keep visual reminders

“I have sticky notes all over my bathroom mirror that remind me first thing every morning just how powerful I am. From accomplishments to small mantras, I’m reminded that I can tackle anything that comes my way. If I can’t be my biggest fan, then how do I expect anyone else to cheer me on?”

-Carrie

Lean into it

“When impostor syndrome rears its head, I lean in. Instead of looking for ways to overcome it, I acknowledge it as a tender aspect of my humanity. The truth is, every person has felt this way. When we can recognize it as a part of ourselves that is simply asking to be seen, and feel it for a bit, it often softens. For me, this is the way through, instead of the way around.”

-Jennie

Only you know what’s going on inside

“I try to remember that no one else knows how I feel or what I’m thinking.”

-Nadia

Get to the root of your fears

“I use an exercise that takes just a minute or two. When fear or self-doubt creeps in, I ask myself why the fear or self-doubt exists and why it’s important to me (it has to have importance if it’s something I’m bothered by, so I’m sure to really find the root!). I ask myself what I can do to become more confident surrounding the fear. For example, if I doubt my ability to nail sales calls, I ask myself how I can get better at sales calls through practice, finding tips online, talking to colleagues, or having a script. I then remind myself how exciting it will feel to overcome the fear or self-doubt and what my business could look like once I do, reigniting eagerness and diminishing fear.”

-Amanda

Repeat positive affirmations

“When I have moments of self-doubt, I say three affirmations to myself: “I am loved. I am enough. I am worthy.”

-Sheena

Awareness and self-acceptance

“What has helped me is awareness… being aware of my self-talk helps me change the thought pattern…and then deeper into that root is self-acceptance.”

-Bronwyn

Focus on your purpose

“I notice that impostor syndrome tends to hit when I compare my skills to others and when I act from my ego-self. But shifting my mindset to how I will be serving and contributing to others’ well-being always makes me more humble, vulnerable, and willing to give my best despite my fears. So, this is what I suggest: don’t go about taking action and doing things from your ego-self — let the purpose of serving others lead the way and speak louder than your fears.” 

-Jessica

Visualize your inner critic

“I’ve created a visual of my inner critic. When I hear the voice or the words they are saying, I think about what that person looks like. Then I ask, ‘Would I take advice from this person?’ The answer is almost always no.”

-Ciara

Take stock of your wins

“Impostor syndrome can be devastating. I have encountered it as a business owner, a technician, an artist, and in all facets of life. There are a few tactics I’ve found to beat it, and the biggest one is to take stock of your wins. I have a document on my computer where I write down my accomplishments — even the little ones. It’s not to be overly proud, but to help me when I’m feeling particularly uncertain about my qualifications. Having that reminder helps to prove the value in my general abilities to problem solve and take action.”

-Craig

Ask for the evidence

“My all-time favourite tip for overcoming self-doubt and impostor syndrome is asking, ‘What evidence do I have that my doubt is true?’ This simple question helps me separate the facts of the real situation from the self-talk fiction in my head.”

-Donna

Prioritize enjoyment over excellence

“For most of my life, I’ve demanded excellence from myself in everything. If I spend my time doing it, I always felt I should do it well. Now, at 63 years old, I’ve learned a valuable lesson: if I enjoy something, I should allow myself to do it simply because I enjoy it. Now — and especially as we continue staying at home — it is critical that we find ways to cope with the stress of isolation. Painting is that outlet for me. Until now, I didn’t allow myself to paint because of my fear that I may not be a great artist. Now that allowed me to paint, I’ve realized how much I enjoy it, regardless of the fact that I have no special talent as a painter. What a great gift to myself to realize that there is value in doing things you enjoy, even if you aren’t excellent at them. We should never put pressure on ourselves to become an expert at something we do for pleasure.”

-Malia

Read through an old journal

“If I’m feeling insecure, I like to look back at previous journal entries to see how far I’ve come from years ago. It reminds me to keep moving forward and how much I’m capable of.”

-Sarah

Celebrate success as it happens

“Recognize your successes as they happen. Often, we completely overlook our own talents and achievements, because they become our default setting. ‘Oh, I just do that naturally,’ is often what people will say when they fail to recognize their own top skills. When we can understand why it is that we got the promotion in the first place, we can appreciate the effort and skills that got us there.”

-Delia

Name it, stay present and in the moment

“The moment impostor syndrome comes up, I take several deep breaths to calm my nervous system. I notice the impostor syndrome with compassion and without self-judgment. I name it: ‘There’s my impostor monster again!’ I normalize it by remembering that many smart people feel the same way in new situations. And lastly, I reframe it: ‘This is what growth feels like. I’m stepping up to my goals and stretching my comfort zone. And then staying absolutely present and in the moment completely.

This weekend I had a beautiful moment to practise this. As some of you might know, my son taught me this weekend how to ride his motorcycle. Now I know it is not really a big thing and there are many wonderful women who ride bikes, of all different ages. When I was telling people about what I was going to do, there were some who did think I was mad and that did put a bit of doubt in my mind, I must admit. But my son believed in me and I really wanted to do this, or at least give it my best attempt.

And then there I was, on the bike, the moment had arrived, Ruan was explaining how I was to let the clutch go slowly, and I was to use the back brake only and I could feel this panic start in my stomach. And I remember thinking, O’ here it comes, the self-doubt, “who do I think I am, what am I doing, I am too old for this”. I recognized my imposter. I took a deep breath, and looked instead at my hand on the clutch and focused on the bike and Ruan’s words, and became totally present. I felt the light breeze, and slowly release the clutch, I could hear Ruan’s footsteps running next to me, I could feel him holding the back of the seat with his hand, his breath getting faster as I was going faster and I realized, I was doing it, I had no fear, and the imposter was gone. The experience was awesome and the whole thing seemed so easy, I surprised myself completely.

Back home, I analyzed the experience and why was it so easy, because really I wasn’t expecting it to be that easy. And the conclusion I came to is this - I could easily have given in to the imposter syndrome and the negative self-talk like, I’m too old, I’m going to fall or the sand down the road is going to make me slide or this is going to be hard, or what will people think of this old woman on a bike”, and the whole experience would have been so different, but I didn’t let that happen, instead I noticed when the imposter syndrome appeared, I took a deep breath to calm myself and I became super present and very aware of myself and my surroundings. I did not think of what could go wrong I just focused on doing everything right in the very moment, and it worked.

The reason I wanted to share this is, this is something I realise I have been doing for some time, whenever negative self-talk or imposter syndrome shows up for me, I take note of it and then I shift my attention to the present moment and it has helped me through many unbelievable moments in my life. Moments where I am so proud of myself and I know if I can do this then every single person on earth can do the same.

-Tania

 Please let us know if you find any of these strategies helpful or if you have alternative ones that help you, that could possibly help someone else.

Cheers for now.

XOXO